Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Goo-Goo Gaa-Gaa

There is one thing Jacy and I share completely different views on...Pregnancy. Jacy thinks pregnancy sounds fun and just loves how cute pregnant women are. I do not. Do you think it's a coincidence that I try to avoid my older sister while she nears her due date? (Well, I mean avoid in the sense of seeing her. I'll talk to her, facebook her, etc.) No, no coincidence there. I really don't like pregnant women.

That was a pretty bold statement, I know. And it's not that I don't like pregnant women from a "man their hormones are out of wack" sort of way. It's more like a "I wish I could see pregnant women from the shoulders up" way. That's right, folks. I'm completely and utterly grossed out by big, bulbous bellies.

I wish people could be more like animals when they're pregnant. Can you tell when a cat's having kittens? NOPE! Then, miraculously, while you're mowing the lawn one day, you see a pack of little baby titties coming at your mower and you have to swerve to avoid them. Where the F did they come from? You don't remember your cat being pregnant. That's because you thought your precious cat should have just laid off the Meow Mix. But she was not just having a food baby.

Why can't people be more like cats? I like discretion when it comes to pregnancy.

When I was in Cancun a month ago, there was this really beautiful woman walking around in a two-piece swimming suit. From the front, she looked awesome. From a profile view, I saw her belly and wanted to puke. Everyone around me is like, "Isn't she just glowing?" "Isn't she just precious." No, d-bags, she's pregant and on a beach! Is that even healthy?! Shouldn't she be inside watching WE-TV or something?

Oh, and why is it okay for pregnant women to refer to themselves as "mommy?" That part almost grosses me out more than them actually being pregnant. I hate when I see Facebook statuses that say, "10 more weeks until I become a MOMMY." While being pregnant, did these women somehow develop the braincells of their offspring? I'm okay with people calling their own mother's "mommy." But referring to themselves as "mommy" is not okay. It's like they've resorted to baby talk. And it's creepy.

I love new life and I love babies, so please don't think of me as a hater. I just really wish pregnant women would cover themselves up more (i.e. Wear the cute preganacy clothing Target offers.) Please avoid swimwear at all costs.

Someday, if I ever choose to have kids, I'm just going to gain a tremendous amount of weight so people can't tell if I'm fat or pregnant. That's the way to roll.


  1. LMAO seriously I miss both you and your humor around here!! I don't get why pregnant women think it's okay to wear two pieces. The whole belly thing doesn't bother me like it does you until it comes to swimsuits or overly tight tops then I'm just annoyed. Keep posting friend and good luck with the caffeine. Maybe you can just limit yourself to one pop a day and no coffee??!?! Ugh, probably doesn't help does it.

  2. awww, Katie, I miss you and your humor, too! I'm going to be super sad when softball rolls around and I'm not there. :( I had a glass of iced tea yesterday and that helped with the headache thing! I think I should have eased off of the caffeine rather than going cold turkey hahaa. How are you doing, m'dear!?