Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Hopped Up

I'm going somewhere where no Schwager has gone before. I'm giving up...gasp... CAFFEINE!

Every since I can remember, my mom has had a Diet Coke glued to her hand. And, before that, my diabetic grandmother sucked down regular Coca-Cola. Even the thought of regular Coke makes me want to hurl. My mom and dad drink a pot of coffee together every morning and my sister, Gina, is addicted to tea. And Jacy, well, Jacy would drink every pop in sight if possible. However, her absolute fave is Orange Hi-C. (double yuck!)

Then there's me. When I form an addiction, I don't go halvsies on it. I go all-the-way. And I have two addictions. 1) Caffeine and 2) Frozen Yogurt. And I don't have any plans to give up No. 2. I have to support my local yogurt shops! But caffeine on the other hand? I think I can sacrifice caffeine.

Or so I thought...

I'm going on day two without caffeine and I feel like crying because my head hurts soooo damn bad. Seriously, I feel like someone has driven a golf tee into my temples and is now launching golf balls off of my head every five seconds. It's miserable. And, I can't fix the headache because the only thing that gets rid of my terrible headaches is Excedrin Migraine. You don't happen to know what the key ingredient of Excedrin Migraine is by chance, do you? Yeah, it's caffeine. Go-frickin'-figure. And the alternative to OTC Migraine meds are my prescription headache meds and they cost, like, $4 a pill. I think I'll suffer.

So why give up caffeine? Well, word on the street is that coffee dehydrates you. Not great for someone who has started working out more. For every cup of coffee I drink in the morning (which is around seven cups), I have to drink double that in water to stop feeling thirsty. OH, and did I mention I have three or so diet sodas per day? I guess that's not too hot for anyone? I guess fake sugars in diet sodas preserve fat cells and they make the fat get fatter. FML. Did I know any of this? Nope! But thanks to Jillian Michaels, she's filled me in on quite a lot in her book "Master Your Metabolism." I may be too scared to eat again. Everything we eat is bad for us - including caffeine!!

I'm sure I'll have the occassional cup o' Joe every so often, but seriously, giving up coffee is worse than giving up Runza. Coffee was my security blanket. It woke me up in the morning and helped me be more productive in the afternoon. Now I feel like a sloth. HELP!

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