Sunday, September 27, 2009

Rough day. Period. Exclamation point.

So I bought this new dress yesterday at Target. I'm really into this whole boho look for some re-damn-diculous reason. May not be stylish what-so-ever, but it's very, very comfortable. Anyway, I bought this dress for 24 bucks and I've already gotten a ton of good out of it. I wore it last night with a pair of leggings and some flats and then I wore it again today (washed, of course) with a pair of tights.

Last night everything with the dress functioned properly. Shoot, last night I would have even considered that dress a lucky dress considering the nice texts I was receiving from a nice young man. But today was a completely different story. Perhaps the dress didn't like the tights I picked out? Or maybe it was the gross flats I chose to wear? Either way, the dress frickin' turned on me. I'mma talking full out, exorcist, green-puke spewing out of possessed girl's head, turned on me.

I had to go to work at volleyball at noon today. So, I left my place at 11:30 to give myself plenty of time to make my way through the madness downtown and to my parking garage. In the meantime I gave my mom a call for a quick chat. While managing to keep my mom on the line, I slung my backpack over my shoulders, clutched onto my purse with one hand, and held my cell phone tight in my other hand.

I chatted with Mama Schwag for probably 10 minutes, all the while making my way from the parking garage to the Coliseum. On my way there I saw several people "check me out," but I just chalked it up to me looking super hot today (I was completely disillusional obviously). I really didn't think anything of it until I hung up with my mom. Then I started to feel really, really chilly. Like, breezy almost. I just happend to look down and...HOLY SHIT... my dress had ridden all the way up my legs to my frickin' waist! I mean, I do have a pretty sexy body (again, haaaa), but showing off my vag to the entire world wasn't what I had in mind this particular Saturday afternoon. I booked it to the closest building to fix myself, but ALAS, the doors were locked. I ran to the next building and the doors were also locked! So I then ran down a random flight of outdoor stairs to fix my problem. Of all days, today was not an awesome time for this to happen. Mind you, 85,000 people are roaming the streets at any given time within in the Lincoln city limits. Sweet.

I guess somehow my stinking bookbag latched on to the backside of my dress and decided to allow it to ride all the way up my waist. I just thank the lucky stars above that I had black tights on or else people really would have seen my "Britney."

I think I'll probably keep the dress, even though it did play an evil trick on me.

Anyway, enough storytelling for tonight.
God Bless,


  1. Oh, Jess, you make me laugh and brighten my day!

  2. I just bought a dress from Target and it did the SAME thing to me...not so much crotch shot but still, it was close. I blame the purse myself. ;)