99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall...

Not quite 99...yet.

Okay, just kidding, but really I just needed to throw back a few while I was writing my stinkin' scholarly journal assignment. My professor said it was okay. I swear he did. He said if we needed any inspiration at all we should drink some alcohol...or something along those lines. Never-the-less, I was inspired and I got the damn thing done. The end.

So evidently, I'm the only person to ever create new blogs on this thing. One-half of Jess and Jacy is not holding up to her end of the deal. It's probably because she's a bigger drunk than I am. JUST KIDDING. But she did mention something about projectile puking Saturday night...and still being drunk late Sunday morning...and mom having to wash the vomit off her shoe... herm... we're all entitled to have fun. We Schwager girls just take fun the the extreme when we have the time.

My weekend was spent in similar fashion. Saturday night, I truly believed I belonged in a Beyonce video shakin' my size xx ass to "Single Ladies." My friend, Tim, and I were even incorporating country swing dancing into a Jay-Z song. I was rockin' it for a few songs. But then I somehow managed to flail my arms right into some sweating (okay, more like oozing) guy's head. Reality check. I swear, all it took was a little ooze on my arm to be like, "WTF are you doing, Jess?! That guy is four feet away from you! How could you have possibly hit him with your arm? Your dancing is out of control. Go home, NOW!" So I did.

PS-I suck at this whole diet thing. If I could only give up alcohol.... My intentions are to workout tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes. Today I promised myself a morning workout, but instead managed to convince myself I didn't need to because of my beast-like dance moves Saturday night.

Goodnight and God Bless,
Jess