You know how I was telling you about disco super fly guy in the last post? Yeah, well, he's a creep. Big creep. Last night I went to bed early because I was still hungover from the crazy night before. Anyway, between 1 and 1:30 I got FOUR texts saying, "Hey, ma, you still up?" "Why you ignoring me?" "Girl, you sleeping or what?" "You asleep?" UH, HELLO MR. McCreeperson. AND those texts were following the text I had sent him earlier saying, "Hey sorry I'm super tired, talk to you some other time."
Mind you, I had only met this guy ONCE and I don't know what he looks like, talks like, smells like. But I know what I looked like, talked like and smelled like Friday night and it sure wasn't pretty. A) I was a hot mess. Like, my dress was riding up to my waste half the time. B) I couldn't string a sentence together if my life depended on it. Just ask Brandon what Goldschwager's quote of the night was. and C) I was permeating vodka and lime juice. HOT MESS. Nevertheless, I still got texts like these yesterday from the creeper...
This one was after I told him I was probably going to move to a different state soon. Basically, I just said this so he would leave me alone.
"I need to make sure I spend a lot of time with you before you disappear on me with your sexy self. You do know you was looking good last night. I bet you even look good when you wake up in the morning."
Then there was this one:
"Thank you for being the eye candy that you are. Probably taste like candy too huh!!!"
Oh and this one (after I had told him he just had his beer goggles on, and I was in fact a really sick looking girl):
"No no goggles I liked what was in front of me that was you and (take this as a compliment) all your voluptuousness if that's a word. if it isn't it is now."
I'm calling Viaero right now to see if his number can be blocked from my phone. Guys, don't be creepy. Thanks.
PS - Jacy's tip to the ladies. She snagged two men this weekend by telling them that she knew who they were and she had crept on them before. Apparently men find this very flattering because they immediately asked for her number. Here's the moral of this blog: Fellows, DO NOT BE CREEPY. Girls, creep all ya went. Or, as Pa would say, "Get down wit ya bad self."