My first final got over a little earlier than expected today, so now I'm just waiting around in the computer lab in the Teacher's College basement for my next final to begin at 3:30. I should be studying, but I don't think my brain can retain anymore information. If I don't know the concepts now, I'll never know them. Well, and I can't focus because some douche is playing his guitar down in the computer lab. Like a real live guitar. Who does that?
As I sit here, I'm filled with anxiety, nervousness, worry, but also hope for the future. One exam separates me from being done with school forever. I feel like I'm being broken up with a little bit. Since even before Kindergarten, school has been a huge part of my life. My mom is a teacher and some of my earliest memories are from the inside of Chambers Public Schools. She would take my sister and I to school in the mornings so the bus driver didn't have to go out of his way to pick us up. I loved being a teacher's kid. My friend, Bryan, is also a teacher's kid and I felt like we were in on a little secret or something. Many times after school, while we waited for our moms to wrap things up for the day, we'd head to the high school science teacher's room to learn all sorts of fascinating science experiments. The science teacher recognized our love for science and even made both of us science geeks our own magnetic pencil contraption. It's funny that 10 years later when I was taking physics, the science teacher told me that I was "like a ball stuck in a gutter" because he was losing patience with me and my struggles with physics. Too bad, because I could have been an engineer or something.
I always enjoyed going to class in elementary and high school, but I think school lost a little of its luster (now that's some alliteration!) when I got to college. College is supposed to be everyone's favorite part of life - the drinking, the hook-ups, the utter craziness - but for me it was more work than fun. I found going to class to be a chore mostly because I focused on my work more. While some of my friends got constant monetary help from their parents, I did not. I was forced to work for my rent and food. I hardly had time for my friends because I was so busy. Now don't get me wrong, I did have my fun, but I don't think it was in the same way as some of my peers. I never got the chance to show up to class drunk off my ass because usually I had to work after class (and I'm not so sure how being drunk at work would have worked out...). I've always been an old soul.
So, despite the anxProxy-Connection: keep-alive
ty right now, I really feel like it is time for me to move on. I'm ready to break up with school and find a hobby. I don't think I'll ever be a corner-office 8-5 chick, but I would like a regular schedule in my life. And I want to take piano lessons. And try out community theater. And go horseback riding. I'm excited to see what life has to offer outside of college.
Now that I'm a little less anxious and the guy in the computer lab stopped playing his guitar, I'm going to get back to studying. Wish me luck!