Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Itsy Bitsy Spider...

...freaked the Schwager sisters out.

I've lived in Claremont Park Apartments. I know what a spider is. In fact, spiders were kind of like my fourth roommate at Claremont. But since moving into Deer Park Apartments, I have yet to see one single spider... until last night. That's when all hell broke lose.

Jacy and I were getting ready for bed last night and it is frickin' cold in our apartment. So unless A) it warms up (not likely) or B) we turn on our heater, Jacy and I have been sleeping in my bed to huddle together for warmth. Well, evidently a spider friend thought he was invited to our slumber party too, because there he was lingering in the shadows of the ceiling. He was inconvienently and quite strategically positioned right where the ceiling and the wall connect, so killing him seemed next to impossible.

After much thought, I told Jacy I didn't really want to kill the spider because I didn't really want it to send out sonar to its spider buddies and I didn't really want its spider buddies attacking us in the middle of the night. (I only said this because I knew I didn't have enough coordination or patience to stand on a stool and coax the spider out of its hiding place). Jacy said, "SCREW THAT. I'll get a fly swatter."

Naturally, she hands me the fly swatter and makes me kill the booger. I tried to convince it to scurry down the wall so I could get a good swing at him, but he wasn't having any of that. Instead, he b-lined for the ceiling and started heading toward me. So, I held the fly swatter upside down and swung with all my might. Unfortunately, my might wasn't good enough, because I saw it crawl from underneath my fly swatter and descend to the ground. When I say descend, I think it actually created a web and gracefully glided to the ground. It was like something out of Charlotte's web.

That's when Jacy and I both throw a total conniption. Running around, skipping, hopping, shivering, jittering, shaking. What have you. Jacy made it very clear she was not sleeping in my bedroom last night and instead, we would sleep in her bedroom. So, I hopped up on my bed and gathered our cell phones and lept from my bed to the hallway (because the spider was somewhere in between my bed and the hallway) Ask me how I did that and I'll tell you I had no idea. Jacy did applaud me for my quite athletic move though. Said it was the quickest she'd ever seen me jump/run.

Theennn Jacy, the little pervert, made me strip off all my clothes and throw them in the living room because she thought maybe our spider friend clung to me and was going to find his way into her bed. She also made me shake out my hair since it may have also embedded itself into my head I guess. I was an ass though and shook my hair out alll over her bed. :D

We never did find our spider friend. I suppose we'll be on the lookout again tonight.

1 comment:

  1. Since I am the smartest Schwager sister, I suggest buying a can of Raid. That will kill the spider (and all his spider friends).