Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Box Stuffers

Let's be honest here. I'm not the most athletic person in the world. I'm also not the most unathletic, but outside of volleyball and basketball I really suck ass at sports. Sometimes I can play slowpitch softball, but that's a rarity. Naturally, in my fifth year of college (when my bones are brittle from old age) I decided to partake in a sport that I had never even heard of before.

It is called broomball.

And it is very dangerous for assholes like me who think I can walk and chew gum at the same time. It's basically like hockey only with smaller sticks and tennis shoes instead of skates. Sadly, I think I'd be more coordinated at hockey.

I tried broomball for the first time last night... and it was a complete disaster. You know that part in Bambi when Bambi is first born and he really can't get his footing under him? Yeah, that's me the entire time I try to walk on the ice. Yesterday I got a little cocky when I first started out and tried jogging on the ice. Bad decision. Next thing I knew I'm laying ass down on the ice with a throbbing elbow. After peeling myself up off the ice, I tried taking it a little easier when I "ran" down the rink. But then I just looked like a bloody fool prancing around like that.

Again, I tried to pick up the pace a little bit and I was doing pretty well mind you, but out of nowhere some asshole from the other team lost his footing and came barreling toward me. That time I nearly saw stars as my knee bashed into the ice. OUCHHHH. Our team (The Box Stuffers) tied last night's unofficial match 1-1. And while my team worked on game plans for today, I was just out purchasing some elbow pads and knee pads to ensure I didn't break any bones tonight.

Tonight's match went a little better. Despite having a knee swollen up twice as much as it should be, a still-throbbing elbow, and a bruised ego, I gave broomball another try tonight. My efforts weren't much better...granted I could kind of put the ball where I wanted it tonight and I only fell ONCE, but I'm still rather terrible. It's very nice of my teammates to put up with me though. They actually act like I'm apart of the team, which is nice. I know when I'm encountering an awful player, I just ignore them and act like they don't exist on my team (poor sport, but whatever). The Box Stuffers came out tonight and won, like, 9-0. Thank God my teammates can cover up my terrible mistakes.

We only have two games left until playoffs... maybe I'll continue to get better. Or maybe I'll just be on the sidelines in case someone needs a breather. :(

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