Friday, November 5, 2010

Friday Blues

It's Friday. TGIF, right? But for some reason I kind of feel like singing the Friday blues. I don't mean that figuratively, I mean that quite literally. In about two seconds, I may pounce on this desk and play fake air guitar while I sing about how I feel like a stroke victim today. I don't mean that in a mean way. I just haven't been able to see straight all day because the sun glared into my eye balls for the first two hours of work. I keep seeing these little black and yellow patches everywhere I look (and it's been about seven hours...maybe I should get that checked out).

But in all seriousness, I think that there might be something wrong with me. Like I've been watching too much Glee. For some reason, I have this continuous urge to belt out in song. Last night I even turned my urge into reality. My roommie's dog kept whining at me and I had zero idea what he wanted from me. So, at the top of my lungs, I belted out "What do you want from me?" by Adam Lambert. Needless-to-say, the dog stopped his whining and hid in a corner, probably deathly afraid of me and my terrible voice.

Not to mention I have had the Glee themesong stuck in my head for three weeks straight. Dododododododododd. See, it's still there! I have no idea what to do. I think I may need to go to a looney bin.

Hmm...other than me clearly being obsessed with Glee, I've made a BIG change in my life. I am completely and 100 percent DONE WITH TWITTER. Well, me personally. I still have to Tweet for work, but my Goldschwager account is gone. Finished. And I am not sad at all. It seems like the Twitter world has sure missed me because I've had SO many people wondering where I've been. Yeah, not at all. Seriously people, you really didn't notice I left? I've wasted so much effing time tweeting and you can't even tell me goodbye! Bullshit.

At first I thought Twitter was pretty cool. I could follow all of the celebs that I so dearly loved. And then I realized that celebs are stupid. For instance, I used to love Kim Kardashian before I started following her on Twitter. Now I think she sucks. She has like 1 billion followers and she tweets about the dumbest shit. Do I really care that she wore a stupid Little Red Riding Hood costume for Halloween? No, no I don't. How freaking original. She should take a page out of Heidi Klum's book and go as something really kick ass (seriously, Heidi rocks - Google her Halloween costume from this year.) If I had unlimited amounts of money, I sure as shit wouldn't go as Little Red Riding Hood. That's just insane.

I realized that since I don't care about someone as famous as Kim Kardashian, then who the hell cared about my insignificant tweets? That's right, NO ONE DOES! And I don't care about yours either. When I want news, I'll tune into other, more reliable websites. And when I want to hear what you're eating for breakfast, I'll text you and ask.

I'm signing off now after my Friday blues/Twitter rampage. Enjoy your weekends folks! And instead of Tweeting about how awesome your life is, can you just go out and have a real-life awesome life? Thanks.

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