A Few Things...

I haven't written a blog in FOREVER. My complete apologies. My life has been so busy lately! Just as the dog days of summer were getting me down, then football season started and my life has been a whirlwind. So, I just thought I'd update my readers on a few things...

1) I worked at Cowboys Stadium last Saturday (Sept. 4) and, although it looks like something out of Star Trek, I was completely impressed. Although I will probably be killed by some Nebraska folk if I even THINK about cheering for the Cowboys, but I will say that if I get the chance to go to a Dallas game in that stadium I'd go in a heartbeat. Right now I'm choosing to watch Big Brother over the Cowboys vs. Redskins game though, so I think y'all are safe. I'm a bandwagon Saints fan all the way.

2) Speaking of the Saints, Reggie Bush is hot. He so does not deserve to get his Heisman stripped away. I think all beautiful men should get Heismans.

3) Also, speaking of bandwagoning, I've adopted the Rangers as my baseball team. I think this is fair considering Lincoln's "Saltdogs" were the closest thing I ever got to seeing to professional baseball in Nebraska. I love Joba Chamberlain, so I've always cheered on the Yankees. However, when I saw that the Rangers swept their series against the Yankees this weekend, I caught myself doing a little "hoorah" and a fist pump. I belong on Jersey Shore.

4) I discovered womping and I'm addicted. Let me preface this: Womping is not kicking someone's ass, nor is it any kind of sexual activity. Rather, it's a newly-invented dance move by my Norman friends. This weekend, I was invited to Norman to go to the Oklahoma vs. Florida State game (eeeeeek!). The night before witnessing a great FSU womping, I went out and did some real life womping on the dance floor. Right now, I'd like you all to get out of your chair, stand up, place your feet hip-width apart and then think of the word "womp." Now, as your thinking of the word "womp," start dancing how you think the word "womp" would make you want to dance. Yes, folks, this is WOMPING. And it's awesome. It's like being on drugs only not being on drugs. It's just letting your body womp. The best songs to womp to are wompy songs. For instace, do you remember Genuwine's song "Pony" back in the '90s? If not, go YouTube it. Those huge bass beats in the backgrounds? The ones that sound like someone is shoving a microphone down his throat and making frog-like sounds? Yeah, those are wompy noises. Now try dancing to it. You'll probably look like you're actually riding a pony. That's a start. Womp like I did this weekend and you'll probably burn 2,000 calories and have every man, woman and child laughing at you. It's glorious.

5) Big Brother is ridiculous tonight. The season finale is this Wednesday, so tonight is kind of a "recap" of the season. If you've never seen Big Brother, then you live under a rock. It's great unscripted fun. But tonight is completely scripted. It sounds like the producers told the last three contestants to walk around the house aimlessly talking about the past three months they've spent together in the house. In fact I'm pretty sure that's what they did. It WAS really awkward to watch three great-looking guys walk around the house trying to recall the shit they did all season. But then I muted it and now I'm just watching three great-looking guys walk around. I feel a little perverted. Ah well, I'm only human.

EEEeKK, my favorite white guy-trying-to-be-black is on TV right now! EMINEM! His eyes are very scary. He looks surprisingly sober. I like doped up Eminem better maybe. Look at him trying to get his act together! But a sober Eminem means the VMAs are on MTV right now and I'm stoked to hear Chelsea Handler's opening act, so I'm out.

I hope I caught y'all up with my first few weeks of August. I'll leave you with these parting words... ride it, my pony, my saddle's waiting, come and jump on it. Thank you Genuwine.