First of all, I just want to thank everyone for their support recently. I have gotten so many amazing messages through Facebook and each of your messages have meant so much to me. They are exactly what I need to get started!
All of this healthy talk made me realize that being healthy doesn't just include exercise and good eating, it includes the other things you feed your body with - love, emotions, alcohol, sadness, etc. I love A-HAH moments and I just had one yesterday.
The night before my college graduation, Heather (one of my best friends - I love you to death, girl!), cornered me in her bedroom and basically asked me if I was happy with myself. To be honest, I felt like I was being beaten down.
See, Heather had graduated in December of 2009 and left to pursue a job opportunity in California. However, her fiance still lived in Lincoln and was graduating on the same day as me, so she was back to see him walk down the graduation aisle. So, Heather hadn't seen and had barely talked to me since December. She basically just followed me through Twitter, Facebook and this blog.
She wondered what the BEEP was going on in my life. Facebook and Twitter had been telling her how drunk I was getting and how many boys I was kissing and this blog was telling her the stories in more detail. She was worried about me. However, I took it more of an accusation. "Come on, I've always been a fun-loving person! I just haven't had a true college experience with my job!" Yeah, complete bullshit if you ask me. For the past couple of months, I've honestly been uneasy about her accusations. I was happy she was being honest with me because I really respect a friend who is honest, but she also hit a nerve. A very deep nerve. And finally, yesterday, I realized what it was. She was right.
I had been treating my body like trash. I had been filling it with booze from Thursdays until Sundays and then some more during the week. I had more hangovers between January-May than I had had in my entire life. I was letting people into my life - bad people - who were causing me to become an emotional wreck. I let men, men with girlfriends and wives and ISSUES, use me emotionally and make me feel terrible about myself. Though, I thought at the time they were making me feel good about myself. Heather saw me, I mean really saw me, from a half-county away and knew something wasn't right.
So I'm hear to tell my faithful readers (and Heather - though I'll probably just tell her in person. :) ) that I've made great strides in other areas of my life. I'm only allowing myself TWO drinks per week and no bad boys. Only good ones. Or none at all. I'm reading more and going out less. I'm being ME again. I don't need to change for anyone.
Thanks, Miss Heather, for seeing me. Love you!