Friday, December 25, 2009

Cabin Fever

Per Miss Carol's request, I have finally decided to write a blizzardy blog. God only knows why she would want to read this blog...maybe she's even more bored than I am? Believe me, Carol, this will be a really, really boring blog.

A little background on today's blog: Jacy and I headed home from Lincoln to Chambers on Tuesday morning to settle in at home for Christmas. Snow was on the way and Dad said either come home on Tuesday or stay in Lincoln through Christmas. Having never missed a Schwager family Christmas in all the years of our lives, Jacy and I packed on up and made the three-and-a-half hour trek home.

Little did we know we wouldn't see the outside world for nearly four days. Day one, we were fine - reading, watching TV, napping - the world at our hands! Day two - a little of the same - we finished season two of Nip/Tuck and were really disappointed because it ended with quite the cliffhanger. Day three - we began to get bored, but were able to push through because, after all, it was Christmas Eve and the next day the Schwager family Christmas would commence. As we woke up on day four (after a long winter's nap and sugar plums dancing in our heads and all of that) we looked at the window to find a very, very white Christmas. :(

After much debating, my sister (Gina), her husband (Barry) and their son (AJ) decided against the 12-mile journey to our little house on the prairie, meaning Mom, Dad, Jacy and I had to go it alone this Christmas.

Naturally, Jacy and I poured ourselves some Bloody Marys to start the day. Poor choice, because two Bloody Marys in and we were both about half-looped. So we moved on to beer. That's when we got the clever idea to video tape a Christmas message to Gina on Facebook. Check it out - we do look pretty looped....Then I slept. It was nice. I woke up to more nothingness. Really, this day just seems like a giant blur.

I believe it was after my nap when Mom and Jacy decided we needed to play board games. (more like bored games?). I wanted to play the Ouija board. Mom and Jacy thought it was far too sacrilegious to play on Christmas. So, I agreed to play what they wanted to play - Sequence. Of course Mom didn't tell me that she was actually a professional athlete at that game. I'm positive she schedules out several hours a day to practice. At one point in "family" board game playing, I even texted my friend, Heather, to say that my mom was a slut because of her really mean board game tactics. I'm very respectful to my madre, but she was really being a giant asshole. She won, like, seven sequence games in a row. I think she was one game away from yelling, "SUCK IT" (vulgar movements and all) at Jacy and I.

I was pissed, so I said I was "going to take a nap," which meant, "I'm getting the hell away from my Sequence-crazed mom." About 30 minutes into my nap I was bored, so Jacy and I recorded a few more Facebook videos and then played another board game - Boggle. Neither of us really knew the rules, but once we semi-figured them out we played a couple of games. Jacy was literally killing me. I would find maybe three words for her 10. I was a pathetic mess. So I threw a giant tantrum and said I was going to "take a nap." (Again, code for "If I'm around Jacy one more second of my life, I will throw her out in a snow bank for being so good at Boggle.)

So, all-in-all, what has this day taught me? First off, I will never, ever, EVER, sign up to be on the TV show Big Brother. NEVER. I love my family more than anything else in the world, but I am sick of them after only four days of being together. Can you say CABIN FEVER?

Secondly, I will never again play Sequence with my mom. She showed me the evil side of Christmas.

Thirdly, I've learned that a little Lady Gaga "Bad Romance" video can boost anyone's spirits.

Seriously, Carol, check it out -

Like I said, this blog is really long and really boring. But I'm just trying to mimic the sort of day I've had. Merry Christmas!

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