Saturday, July 9, 2011

Bad Day

Jacy and I got to talking today about our blog and how we hardly ever post anymore. And by "we," I mean me. Why don't I post anymore? I think it's because I need to have some epic story idea in order to blog (it's the journalist in me). However, Jacy doesn't feel like that's the case at all. She thinks I should post little nuggets instead. So that's what I'm doing tonight....

Last night's nugget:
This is Jacy. Jacy is "tired." Jacy is not passed out at all. When I accused Jacy of being passed out, she yelled at me and said I was being "goofy." However, this picture was taken right before she asked me to make a drunk run through McDonald's to get her a "Number 1 with a Bertrand Burger and a side of Chambers."Bertrand and Chambers are both towns in Nebraska. Evidently, her drunk self is really homesick for Bertrand (a place we've never been) and Chambers (a place that we were just at). Let me just tell you how awkward it was for me to run through Mickey Dees with Jacy in this state. The guy at the drive-thru window winked at me and said, "Good night, huh?" Yeah, maybe for you sir. You don't have to deal with drunk Jacy.

Nugget #2:
Please take a good, hard look at my pupils in this photo. So after I made sure Jacy was nice and passed out in a good place (errr... I mean after I tucked sleeping beauty in bed), I woke up in the middle of the night with an excruciating pain in my left eye. I had NO IDEA what could have caused the pain. Surely it wasn't because I hadn't taken my contacts out for 3 months, right? NO WAY. I decided to be smart about the issue and take my contacts out, squirt some eye drops in my eye, and go back to bed. However, at about 7 a.m., I couldn't stand the pain anymore. I forced hungover Jacy to take me to the eye doctor. Let's just say that Dr. Scott Mendell of Norman Eye Care is my hero (Does this plug get me a discount on my next pair of glasses, Doc?). He rolled out of bed on his day off and opened up his shop to deal with my dumb, non-contact-taking-outing ass. He even had to drive to Tulsa today for a Bachelor party. I've seen The Hangover. I know what goes down at those things. He dilated my one pupil (to minimize pain), gave me some eye drops, and sent me on my way. It's 10 p.m. on a Saturday and my left pupil is still blown up like I've been doing coke on just my left side. I've never done coke, but I've seen enough movies to know what it does to a person's eyes. Anyway, Jacy has been laughing at me all day and calling me "Mad Eye Jessica." What a treat!

Nugget numero tres:
I didn't really think a day where my eyeball got torn to shreds by a contact lens could get much worse, but it did. I decided to be semi-responsible on my Saturday afternoon, so I did a little laundry. Um, yeah, I failed to look in the laundry machine before I put my clothes in it. Who'da thunk that someone would have placed a paper grocery bag in the machine? (Really though, why would a paper bag be in our washer? I don't understand...) Evidently, paper bags don't make it through the machine as well as, say, clothing. I spent a good 10 minutes trying to peel paper bag off of my clothes until Jacy suggested I throw them in the drier so the lint catcher would sort out the paper shreds. Here's what the giant mass looked like -- kind of rats nest like, huh? And I know a thing or two about rats nests. (Well, not anymore. Blanche and Harriet decided to take a vacation.) My clothes are currently being processed again.

Wow, those little nuggets turned into an entire 4,000-word blog. My bad. I guess I need some nugget practice. Hey, at least my day has gotten better. I'm sitting on the couch - blogging - and watching Jacy go through our old home movies (not THOSE kind of movies). Love me some really fat and ugly Jessica and Jacy. I refuse to ever give my kids a video camera.

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