The Bachelor: Season 616

That's right folks! After months of anxiously waiting, The Bachelor has made its return to ABC with none other than Brad Womack at the helm...AGAIN.

I'm an avid Bachelor lover. I watched the first few seasons, but unfortunately steered away in high school because my Monday nights were far better spent being lame. Luckily, I stopped being a piece of trash and tuned back in around the time Brad Womack ditched DeAnna Pappas and decided to fly solo.

Missed the past 615 seasons of The Bachelor? Let me catch you up!

So here's the scoop on the recent seasons I've seen (hold on tight): After DeAnna was torn up about the Brad thing, she decided to become the Bachelorette. I was enthusiastic about DeAnna. She was cute and seemed sensible and stable. But then she pulled one over my eyes when she duped Jason for a snowboarder guy named Jesse. But snowboarder guy didn't work out and then she ended up marrying a hot twin from another season.

I was just going to turn ABC off on Monday nights after being so disappointed in DeAnna, but then I got sucked in by hot Jason and his adorable son, Ty. Jason went on to pick my favorite gal, Melissa (yayyy!), only to break Melissa's heart in the "After the Final Rose" segment and re-pick ol' whatserface with the bad eye makeup (Molly). But everything turned out okay because America got to watch Melissa shake her groove thing on Dancing With the Stars.

Back to the Bachelor. So the third-girl out, Jillian (in Jason's season) had her own Bachelorette where she chose that Ed guy over many charming guys, including a hot pilot from Dallas named Jake. Jake was sad and had a dramatic cry over a hotel balcony. ABC decided to make him the next Bachelor because, honestly, that scene with him and the balcony surely drew more viewers. Jake's season really sucked. Like ABC probably should have discontinued the show. Jake had a whole slough of girls to choose from and he picked a gold-digging ho-bag over a bunch of really nice girls, including one Ali Fedowsky (okay, technically this isn't true because Ali actually quit Jake's season to continue to pursue her career in marketing). Ali was cute and blonde, and also very sad that she chose a career over love, so she naturally became the next Bachelorette (last season).

Ali chose hot Latin baseball player Roberto and they're still together. ABC wanted to get runner-up Chris Lambton on this season's edition, but unfortunately, Chris decided against doing The Bachelor because he was REALLY freaked out by the publicity (and more notably, the fan mail that crazy chicks were sending him).

So, ABC ran out of options and approached two-timer Brad Womack as this season's Bachelor. He's really quite gorgeous though, so I'm okay with it. Oh, and did I mention his cute Austin drawl? I'm a sucker for Southern accents.

Tonight was the first episode of the season and I'm surprisingly okay with how everything turned out. Not too many weirdos. There was one perfectly normal gal who liked to wear vampire fangs at night (Madison). She was cute - minus the True Blood fetish. Brad really surprised me with his decision to give her a rose, but I guess he found her really sexy and "cool." I'm scared to death of real life vampires and, in the off shot she REALLY was one, I would have kicked her to the curb. Unless she looked like Robert Pattinson. Ooo or that Cam Gigadet guy. HOT.

I really liked a girl named Emily. She lost her husband in a plane accident in 2004. A week after burying the poor fellow, she discovered she was preggers with his baby. DRAMA! GASP! Um, hello Lifetime movie! She deserves a second shot at love for sure. And she got it this week with a dazzling rose.

Other than Emily, I haven't really formed many opinions of the other girls. Give me another week. I do know that Brad is optimistic about love though. He even had his psychologist testify on national TV how he is no longer scared of commitment (Um...doesn't that go against some sort of HIPPA law? Who knows.)

My predictions, you ask? Well, I watched the previews and am fairly certain Brad gets ditched in the end. Or one of the girls gets eaten by a lion in Africa. Either way I saw a lot of tears coming out of Brad's eyes. I'm also fairly certain Seal is going sing "Kiss From a Rose" live for one of the one-on-one dates. Ooo, okay, here is my official final prediction: The girl that Brad's in love with decides to run away with Seal. Then Heidi Klum will naturally become our next Bachelorette.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the first episode of The Bachelor: Season 15. Shoot me your thoughts!

Flashback to last season when Jacy and I decided to do our rendition of Ali vs. Kasey. Click Here.