Friends, as of 7:55 this morning, I have officially lost 25 pounds since moving away from Nebraska. Not a HUGE number, but it's a 25 pounds less than I was last year at this time. And damnit, it is staying off come hell or high water. Seriously though, Jacy and I polished off three boxes of Girl Scout cookies last weekend and I didn't gain an ounce. It's gone for good.
I had a goal in mind when I started (which I'm about 40 pounds away from), but really it's just become a great journey for me. I've realized the importance of a healthy lifestyle instead of just focusing on a number. Sure, I get off track every once in a while, but I'm not secretly binging on fast food in my car. The biggest, most helpful thing to ask myself everytime I shove something in my mouth is, "Would I eat this in front of Ryan Lochte/Josh Hartnett/Jillian Michaels/Bob Harper?" If the answer is "Aw, hell no," then generally I put it down. Sometimes when I'm out to eat with friends I'll still indulge, but I'm not eating an entire plate of shit food. Instead, I'm just having a few bites of shit food and then I'll go back to my regularly scheduled program.
I'm also not being a giant lump of lard who never works out. You know those people who NEVER work out and still remain thin as a rail? (ahem, my BF Maggie...jerk). Yeah, well I'm not one of those people. The gym is my frienemy. But recently the gym has become my bestest friend in the whole wide world....thanks to one delectable gentleman.
Folks, I have this humungo, gigantuano crush on a boy at my gym. (Yes, after contracting Bieber Fever, I now call grown men "boys" and have begun using the word, "crush," to define my feelings for boys.) But really, a "crush" is the only way to describe it.
You know how when you were in ninth grade and you had a "crush" on the hot senior who dated the hottest girl in school? Yeah, that's what's happening here. I feel very Molly Ringwald in 16 Candles. Every time I go to the gym, I find find myself pouding it out twice as hard on the dreadmill just to show him how much of a beast I am. Fortunately for me, he somehow always manages to park his cute behind on the treadmill right beside me. Unfortunately for him, I kick his ASS every time. He runs 6 mph, I bump it to 8. He's at 6 percent incline, I put mine at 12. I kick ass so hard that I almost feel like roaring after my workout. Sadly there is one major downfall to my beast-dom....
I am the sweatiest mo' fo' on the planet.
Dude, I don't even drink my recommended 8-10 glasses of water every day and I still manage to ooze. I swear to you, if you put a 5-gallon bucket by my dreadmill, it'd be at least half full by the time I'm done.
Can you see my dilemma here? How disgusting must I look after my workouts? I try to wear colors like black or navy blue while I work out, but it's tough to hide my hair from looking like I just stepped out of the shower.
I'll be honest with you, this guy isn't even out of my league. I'd probably have a shot with this guy in a bar setting. But how the hell can he find me the least bit attractive when I look like I just ran 10 miles with a two-ton hippo riding me piggy back? It's impossible. Jacy keeps saying, "Ohhh, just make eye contact with him and then give him a smile." Yeah, Jace, I totally would if sweat didn't run down past my eyebrows and block my contacts so bad. Who doesn't love a chick who looks like she just got done seizing/sobbing uncontrollably/fighting off pink eye?
But in all honestly, I'm hoping he'll look past my sweatiness and see my inner badass. I mean, what other girl does 100 squats with 25 lb dumbells in each hand? And really, in the end, this whole "being healthy" business is about ME, not some cute guy with big arms and a nice tan.
But damn, watching him in the gym sure helps me on my journey.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Bieber Fever
I would give my left foot to be a teenage girl right about now.
All-in-all, I really hate this techy generation. (Ha! Like I should talk. I graduated from high school 5 1/2 years go.) But they have one thing that I am completely envious of......
JUSTIN BIEBER <3
*(Yes, I just put a heart after his name. He makes me swoon. It's the Fever.)
I was first introduced to Justin Bieber about a year ago on Chelsea Lately. I had heard his songs on the radio prior to his interview with Chelsea Handler, but honestly wasn't a huge fan. To me, he sounded like any other wannabe pop singer. And believe me, we already had too many wannabe pop singers roaming around. It wasn't until I witnessed his dazzling personality on E! that I fell in love with a boy half my age. He smiled, I smiled. And it wasn't just me either. I could tell Chelsea Handler had an adorable little crush on the adorable little boy as well. At that moment, I started paying attention to the prepubescent, shaggy blonde-haired boy and got giddy everytime "One Time" played on the radio.
A couple of months ago, I saw a commercial for Justin Bieber's movie, "Never Say Never," and made a vow to see the flick as soon as it came out. This was very unlike me. I HATE when young stars create anything autobiographical. I was a faithful Miley Cyrus fan until she came out with her book, "Miles To Go." And Lauren Conrad? Yup, she flew off my radar when she semi-wrote "L.A. Candy." But there was something so endearing about Justin Bieber. He never asked for the attention. He was an innocent bystander in his rise to the top. I didn't know much about him, so I was anxious to learn more in his documentary.
I was delighted when my friend, Kylie, texted me to see if I wanted to go to his movie with her last night.
I believe I replied with an eye roll and an, "UM, DUHHHHH."*
*(The Fever also has me using teenage lingo. One of the many side effects.)
Yesterday morning, I honored my vow by purchasing two tickets to "Never Say Never" on its opening night. About an hour after my glorious purchase, I heard one of my coworkers say, "What am I doing tonight? Well, I have to drop my three daughters (all under the age of 13) off at the theater to see that Justin Bieber movie...hahaha, yeahhh, we had to order tickets last night....the lines are supposed to be huge....all of my daughters' friends are going....oh yeah, they call it Bieber Fever."
I wasn't about to let a bunch of raging teenage girls scare me. Aw, heck no! I was going to this movie. And I had Cougartown and Demi Moore to thank. Persistence is key in stalking young prey. After all, Demi Moore beat out lots of younger women to become Ashton Kutcher's wifey. I will NEVER SAY NEVER.
So Kylie, Kylie's mom (Sheila), and I punched our tickets to the movie. It was the best decision of our lives.
The movie was amazing. I really have no words. The Biebs is freaking talented. He really isn't some wannabe pop star. He has real talent. The kid taught himself how to sing, dance, drum and play guitar. Not to mention he is charming and has the best smile (and hair) in the whole world. And he doesn't have looney toon parents like teen starts before him (think Lindsay Lohan's parents or Jessica Simpson's dad). He is the complete package.
As I was sitting in the theater last night, clapping along to the songs in his concert, watching all of the little girls get out of their seat and dance, I realized how utterly jealous I was of all of them. They could outwardly stalk Justin Bieber and not get arrested. They could weep when they saw him on screen and wouldn't get weird looks from adult strangers. I was born in the wrong era.
The only band I could worship was 'N SYNC and they didn't last long. Wellll, Justin Timberlake did A-OK for himself, but I was a JC Chasez fan. (And if you were a JC fan, you were NOT a Justin fan and vice versa.) I even wrote JC a letter once expressing how much it would mean to me if he came to my sister's wedding and performed. Did I hear anything back? NOPE. Justin Bieber would never leave his fans hanging. EVER. He loves his fans.
Other than 'N SYNC, I had weird, WEIRD taste in music. I loved Bette Midler, Cher, Semisonic, Sugar Ray and the Spice Girls (my musical taste was not unlike young, gay boys at the time). As for hot young boys to fantasize about? I did have the beautiful and talented JOSH HARTNETT. I plastered my closet door in his pictures. I wept when he died at the end of Pearl Harbor. I wrote him fan letters. I attempted to stalk him on an FCCLA trip to Minneapolis. No luck. Today's teenage girls have Twitter and Facebook to track Justin Bieber's location. I had NOTHING.
Let me reiterate my first statement...I would give my left foot to be a teenage girl right about now. Seriously, go see "Never Say Never" and you will understand why. Justin Bieber is a phenomenon and he's not going anywhere for a very long while. So I say you should just accept him into your lives and get down with the Bieber Fever. (Best illness I've ever had.)
All-in-all, I really hate this techy generation. (Ha! Like I should talk. I graduated from high school 5 1/2 years go.) But they have one thing that I am completely envious of......
JUSTIN BIEBER <3
*(Yes, I just put a heart after his name. He makes me swoon. It's the Fever.)
I was first introduced to Justin Bieber about a year ago on Chelsea Lately. I had heard his songs on the radio prior to his interview with Chelsea Handler, but honestly wasn't a huge fan. To me, he sounded like any other wannabe pop singer. And believe me, we already had too many wannabe pop singers roaming around. It wasn't until I witnessed his dazzling personality on E! that I fell in love with a boy half my age. He smiled, I smiled. And it wasn't just me either. I could tell Chelsea Handler had an adorable little crush on the adorable little boy as well. At that moment, I started paying attention to the prepubescent, shaggy blonde-haired boy and got giddy everytime "One Time" played on the radio.
A couple of months ago, I saw a commercial for Justin Bieber's movie, "Never Say Never," and made a vow to see the flick as soon as it came out. This was very unlike me. I HATE when young stars create anything autobiographical. I was a faithful Miley Cyrus fan until she came out with her book, "Miles To Go." And Lauren Conrad? Yup, she flew off my radar when she semi-wrote "L.A. Candy." But there was something so endearing about Justin Bieber. He never asked for the attention. He was an innocent bystander in his rise to the top. I didn't know much about him, so I was anxious to learn more in his documentary.
I was delighted when my friend, Kylie, texted me to see if I wanted to go to his movie with her last night.
I believe I replied with an eye roll and an, "UM, DUHHHHH."*
*(The Fever also has me using teenage lingo. One of the many side effects.)
Yesterday morning, I honored my vow by purchasing two tickets to "Never Say Never" on its opening night. About an hour after my glorious purchase, I heard one of my coworkers say, "What am I doing tonight? Well, I have to drop my three daughters (all under the age of 13) off at the theater to see that Justin Bieber movie...hahaha, yeahhh, we had to order tickets last night....the lines are supposed to be huge....all of my daughters' friends are going....oh yeah, they call it Bieber Fever."
I wasn't about to let a bunch of raging teenage girls scare me. Aw, heck no! I was going to this movie. And I had Cougartown and Demi Moore to thank. Persistence is key in stalking young prey. After all, Demi Moore beat out lots of younger women to become Ashton Kutcher's wifey. I will NEVER SAY NEVER.
So Kylie, Kylie's mom (Sheila), and I punched our tickets to the movie. It was the best decision of our lives.
The movie was amazing. I really have no words. The Biebs is freaking talented. He really isn't some wannabe pop star. He has real talent. The kid taught himself how to sing, dance, drum and play guitar. Not to mention he is charming and has the best smile (and hair) in the whole world. And he doesn't have looney toon parents like teen starts before him (think Lindsay Lohan's parents or Jessica Simpson's dad). He is the complete package.
As I was sitting in the theater last night, clapping along to the songs in his concert, watching all of the little girls get out of their seat and dance, I realized how utterly jealous I was of all of them. They could outwardly stalk Justin Bieber and not get arrested. They could weep when they saw him on screen and wouldn't get weird looks from adult strangers. I was born in the wrong era.
The only band I could worship was 'N SYNC and they didn't last long. Wellll, Justin Timberlake did A-OK for himself, but I was a JC Chasez fan. (And if you were a JC fan, you were NOT a Justin fan and vice versa.) I even wrote JC a letter once expressing how much it would mean to me if he came to my sister's wedding and performed. Did I hear anything back? NOPE. Justin Bieber would never leave his fans hanging. EVER. He loves his fans.
Other than 'N SYNC, I had weird, WEIRD taste in music. I loved Bette Midler, Cher, Semisonic, Sugar Ray and the Spice Girls (my musical taste was not unlike young, gay boys at the time). As for hot young boys to fantasize about? I did have the beautiful and talented JOSH HARTNETT. I plastered my closet door in his pictures. I wept when he died at the end of Pearl Harbor. I wrote him fan letters. I attempted to stalk him on an FCCLA trip to Minneapolis. No luck. Today's teenage girls have Twitter and Facebook to track Justin Bieber's location. I had NOTHING.
Let me reiterate my first statement...I would give my left foot to be a teenage girl right about now. Seriously, go see "Never Say Never" and you will understand why. Justin Bieber is a phenomenon and he's not going anywhere for a very long while. So I say you should just accept him into your lives and get down with the Bieber Fever. (Best illness I've ever had.)
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Bless Your Heart
Welp, folkies, it's official...I AM A SOUTHERN GIRL! I moved to Stormin' Norman, Oklahoma, last weekend and have completed my first week of work for the University of Oklahoma. I don't mean to gush, but I absolutely love it here.
Back in the day, when I had been looking at OU as my future college, I remember someone telling me that I wouldn't like it here because of the "tarantulas the size of Volvos that roamed the highways." I am happy to report that I have yet to see a tarantula. Well, except for ones I just now saw when I Googled the word "tarantula" to figure out how to spell the word, "tarantula." Yikes. The first words to appear in my my Google box were "Tarantulas in Oklahoma." Naturally, it took me to a Wikipedia page describing and showing the many brown tarantualas in Oklahoma (luckily, brown Oklahoman turantulas are the best kind to have as pets...good to know...). Shit, now my ears are ringing all weird and itchy. Oh, and I also have major goosebumps because I'm thoroughly convinced that there is one crawling on the wall behind me. Should I look?...........Okay, I just looked and, again, I have yet to report a sighting.
One thing I have been dying to see is the species best known as the "Rednecks." I was lucky and got my Redneck experience out of the way early when I went to pick up my Cox digital cable router this afternoon. Two steps into the place and I felt like I was time-warped to 1987 when mullets were a hit (or was it 1972 when Grandma Glasses were in style? Orrrr it definitely could have been 1960s England when not brushing one's teeth was a fad). Any way I look at it, I was warped into the time of Redneck. And it was awesome. Thick Southern drawls, flannel, buck teeth, greasy hair, plastic glasses and a delightful Cougar with teal eyeliner. I certainly picked the right day to get my router.
I don't mean to judge or even be mean because, well, I am pure trailor trash. Ummmm....Hello Pot? This is Kettle. I'm calling you black. But I can tell you that none of my posse (i.e. family members) ever had a mullet as awesome as the guy's in front of me. But perhaps my favorite Redneck was the lady who came in a few minutes after I stepped in line. She had on tight leggings, an even tighter black Goodwill t-shirt and ol' school Nike tennis. Her hair barely avoided the ceiling and I really couldn't tell where her eyes ended and her eyeliner began. I pegged her for a Cougar the moment I laid eyes on her. I then confirmed it when she spoke to me.
"See that kid behind the counter? Isn't he just a dolllllll? God bless his little heart. I love his beard. Don't you love his beard."
Uh, yeah, lady. I love his peach fuzz. He's freaking 12.
Speaking of 12-year-olds (and this may sound creepy), I LOVE going to Walmart/Target because of all of the little Southern boys and girls. Have you HEARD a Southern child with a Southern accent? BLESS THEIR FREAKING HEARTS. I could adopt 10 of them. Seriously though, it is my quest now to find a husband with the thickest Southern drawl I've ever heard so he can make sure our kids have at least 3/4ths of his accent. Some kid in Target tonight kept shouting "Poo-poo face butt, poo-poo face butt," but the sing-songy drawl in which he was enunciating his words with made the phrase sound like butter.
I could get used to this Southern lifestyle. Rednecks, Southern children and fuzzy spiders. My kind of living.
Back in the day, when I had been looking at OU as my future college, I remember someone telling me that I wouldn't like it here because of the "tarantulas the size of Volvos that roamed the highways." I am happy to report that I have yet to see a tarantula. Well, except for ones I just now saw when I Googled the word "tarantula" to figure out how to spell the word, "tarantula." Yikes. The first words to appear in my my Google box were "Tarantulas in Oklahoma." Naturally, it took me to a Wikipedia page describing and showing the many brown tarantualas in Oklahoma (luckily, brown Oklahoman turantulas are the best kind to have as pets...good to know...). Shit, now my ears are ringing all weird and itchy. Oh, and I also have major goosebumps because I'm thoroughly convinced that there is one crawling on the wall behind me. Should I look?...........Okay, I just looked and, again, I have yet to report a sighting.
One thing I have been dying to see is the species best known as the "Rednecks." I was lucky and got my Redneck experience out of the way early when I went to pick up my Cox digital cable router this afternoon. Two steps into the place and I felt like I was time-warped to 1987 when mullets were a hit (or was it 1972 when Grandma Glasses were in style? Orrrr it definitely could have been 1960s England when not brushing one's teeth was a fad). Any way I look at it, I was warped into the time of Redneck. And it was awesome. Thick Southern drawls, flannel, buck teeth, greasy hair, plastic glasses and a delightful Cougar with teal eyeliner. I certainly picked the right day to get my router.
I don't mean to judge or even be mean because, well, I am pure trailor trash. Ummmm....Hello Pot? This is Kettle. I'm calling you black. But I can tell you that none of my posse (i.e. family members) ever had a mullet as awesome as the guy's in front of me. But perhaps my favorite Redneck was the lady who came in a few minutes after I stepped in line. She had on tight leggings, an even tighter black Goodwill t-shirt and ol' school Nike tennis. Her hair barely avoided the ceiling and I really couldn't tell where her eyes ended and her eyeliner began. I pegged her for a Cougar the moment I laid eyes on her. I then confirmed it when she spoke to me.
"See that kid behind the counter? Isn't he just a dolllllll? God bless his little heart. I love his beard. Don't you love his beard."
Uh, yeah, lady. I love his peach fuzz. He's freaking 12.
Speaking of 12-year-olds (and this may sound creepy), I LOVE going to Walmart/Target because of all of the little Southern boys and girls. Have you HEARD a Southern child with a Southern accent? BLESS THEIR FREAKING HEARTS. I could adopt 10 of them. Seriously though, it is my quest now to find a husband with the thickest Southern drawl I've ever heard so he can make sure our kids have at least 3/4ths of his accent. Some kid in Target tonight kept shouting "Poo-poo face butt, poo-poo face butt," but the sing-songy drawl in which he was enunciating his words with made the phrase sound like butter.
I could get used to this Southern lifestyle. Rednecks, Southern children and fuzzy spiders. My kind of living.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Until Next Week
Sorry folks, no Bachelor blog this week. Chris Harrison: 1, Jessica 0.
However, I have two brief comment.
1) I love this season already. No BS! Brad took note of the drama happening in the house and eliminated it immediately.
2) Um...how horrible was the makeout session between Brad and that girl at the carnival? Wow. Suckfest. It made me uncomfortable. She tried to eat off his lips.
Anywho...I have lots to do today and blogging isn't on the top of my list. Peace.
However, I have two brief comment.
1) I love this season already. No BS! Brad took note of the drama happening in the house and eliminated it immediately.
2) Um...how horrible was the makeout session between Brad and that girl at the carnival? Wow. Suckfest. It made me uncomfortable. She tried to eat off his lips.
Anywho...I have lots to do today and blogging isn't on the top of my list. Peace.
Monday, January 3, 2011
The Bachelor: Season 616
That's right folks! After months of anxiously waiting, The Bachelor has made its return to ABC with none other than Brad Womack at the helm...AGAIN.
I'm an avid Bachelor lover. I watched the first few seasons, but unfortunately steered away in high school because my Monday nights were far better spent being lame. Luckily, I stopped being a piece of trash and tuned back in around the time Brad Womack ditched DeAnna Pappas and decided to fly solo.
Missed the past 615 seasons of The Bachelor? Let me catch you up!
So here's the scoop on the recent seasons I've seen (hold on tight): After DeAnna was torn up about the Brad thing, she decided to become the Bachelorette. I was enthusiastic about DeAnna. She was cute and seemed sensible and stable. But then she pulled one over my eyes when she duped Jason for a snowboarder guy named Jesse. But snowboarder guy didn't work out and then she ended up marrying a hot twin from another season.
I was just going to turn ABC off on Monday nights after being so disappointed in DeAnna, but then I got sucked in by hot Jason and his adorable son, Ty. Jason went on to pick my favorite gal, Melissa (yayyy!), only to break Melissa's heart in the "After the Final Rose" segment and re-pick ol' whatserface with the bad eye makeup (Molly). But everything turned out okay because America got to watch Melissa shake her groove thing on Dancing With the Stars.
Back to the Bachelor. So the third-girl out, Jillian (in Jason's season) had her own Bachelorette where she chose that Ed guy over many charming guys, including a hot pilot from Dallas named Jake. Jake was sad and had a dramatic cry over a hotel balcony. ABC decided to make him the next Bachelor because, honestly, that scene with him and the balcony surely drew more viewers. Jake's season really sucked. Like ABC probably should have discontinued the show. Jake had a whole slough of girls to choose from and he picked a gold-digging ho-bag over a bunch of really nice girls, including one Ali Fedowsky (okay, technically this isn't true because Ali actually quit Jake's season to continue to pursue her career in marketing). Ali was cute and blonde, and also very sad that she chose a career over love, so she naturally became the next Bachelorette (last season).
Ali chose hot Latin baseball player Roberto and they're still together. ABC wanted to get runner-up Chris Lambton on this season's edition, but unfortunately, Chris decided against doing The Bachelor because he was REALLY freaked out by the publicity (and more notably, the fan mail that crazy chicks were sending him).
So, ABC ran out of options and approached two-timer Brad Womack as this season's Bachelor. He's really quite gorgeous though, so I'm okay with it. Oh, and did I mention his cute Austin drawl? I'm a sucker for Southern accents.
Tonight was the first episode of the season and I'm surprisingly okay with how everything turned out. Not too many weirdos. There was one perfectly normal gal who liked to wear vampire fangs at night (Madison). She was cute - minus the True Blood fetish. Brad really surprised me with his decision to give her a rose, but I guess he found her really sexy and "cool." I'm scared to death of real life vampires and, in the off shot she REALLY was one, I would have kicked her to the curb. Unless she looked like Robert Pattinson. Ooo or that Cam Gigadet guy. HOT.
I really liked a girl named Emily. She lost her husband in a plane accident in 2004. A week after burying the poor fellow, she discovered she was preggers with his baby. DRAMA! GASP! Um, hello Lifetime movie! She deserves a second shot at love for sure. And she got it this week with a dazzling rose.
Other than Emily, I haven't really formed many opinions of the other girls. Give me another week. I do know that Brad is optimistic about love though. He even had his psychologist testify on national TV how he is no longer scared of commitment (Um...doesn't that go against some sort of HIPPA law? Who knows.)
My predictions, you ask? Well, I watched the previews and am fairly certain Brad gets ditched in the end. Or one of the girls gets eaten by a lion in Africa. Either way I saw a lot of tears coming out of Brad's eyes. I'm also fairly certain Seal is going sing "Kiss From a Rose" live for one of the one-on-one dates. Ooo, okay, here is my official final prediction: The girl that Brad's in love with decides to run away with Seal. Then Heidi Klum will naturally become our next Bachelorette.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on the first episode of The Bachelor: Season 15. Shoot me your thoughts!
Flashback to last season when Jacy and I decided to do our rendition of Ali vs. Kasey. Click Here.
I'm an avid Bachelor lover. I watched the first few seasons, but unfortunately steered away in high school because my Monday nights were far better spent being lame. Luckily, I stopped being a piece of trash and tuned back in around the time Brad Womack ditched DeAnna Pappas and decided to fly solo.
Missed the past 615 seasons of The Bachelor? Let me catch you up!
So here's the scoop on the recent seasons I've seen (hold on tight): After DeAnna was torn up about the Brad thing, she decided to become the Bachelorette. I was enthusiastic about DeAnna. She was cute and seemed sensible and stable. But then she pulled one over my eyes when she duped Jason for a snowboarder guy named Jesse. But snowboarder guy didn't work out and then she ended up marrying a hot twin from another season.
I was just going to turn ABC off on Monday nights after being so disappointed in DeAnna, but then I got sucked in by hot Jason and his adorable son, Ty. Jason went on to pick my favorite gal, Melissa (yayyy!), only to break Melissa's heart in the "After the Final Rose" segment and re-pick ol' whatserface with the bad eye makeup (Molly). But everything turned out okay because America got to watch Melissa shake her groove thing on Dancing With the Stars.
Back to the Bachelor. So the third-girl out, Jillian (in Jason's season) had her own Bachelorette where she chose that Ed guy over many charming guys, including a hot pilot from Dallas named Jake. Jake was sad and had a dramatic cry over a hotel balcony. ABC decided to make him the next Bachelor because, honestly, that scene with him and the balcony surely drew more viewers. Jake's season really sucked. Like ABC probably should have discontinued the show. Jake had a whole slough of girls to choose from and he picked a gold-digging ho-bag over a bunch of really nice girls, including one Ali Fedowsky (okay, technically this isn't true because Ali actually quit Jake's season to continue to pursue her career in marketing). Ali was cute and blonde, and also very sad that she chose a career over love, so she naturally became the next Bachelorette (last season).
Ali chose hot Latin baseball player Roberto and they're still together. ABC wanted to get runner-up Chris Lambton on this season's edition, but unfortunately, Chris decided against doing The Bachelor because he was REALLY freaked out by the publicity (and more notably, the fan mail that crazy chicks were sending him).
So, ABC ran out of options and approached two-timer Brad Womack as this season's Bachelor. He's really quite gorgeous though, so I'm okay with it. Oh, and did I mention his cute Austin drawl? I'm a sucker for Southern accents.
Tonight was the first episode of the season and I'm surprisingly okay with how everything turned out. Not too many weirdos. There was one perfectly normal gal who liked to wear vampire fangs at night (Madison). She was cute - minus the True Blood fetish. Brad really surprised me with his decision to give her a rose, but I guess he found her really sexy and "cool." I'm scared to death of real life vampires and, in the off shot she REALLY was one, I would have kicked her to the curb. Unless she looked like Robert Pattinson. Ooo or that Cam Gigadet guy. HOT.
I really liked a girl named Emily. She lost her husband in a plane accident in 2004. A week after burying the poor fellow, she discovered she was preggers with his baby. DRAMA! GASP! Um, hello Lifetime movie! She deserves a second shot at love for sure. And she got it this week with a dazzling rose.
Other than Emily, I haven't really formed many opinions of the other girls. Give me another week. I do know that Brad is optimistic about love though. He even had his psychologist testify on national TV how he is no longer scared of commitment (Um...doesn't that go against some sort of HIPPA law? Who knows.)
My predictions, you ask? Well, I watched the previews and am fairly certain Brad gets ditched in the end. Or one of the girls gets eaten by a lion in Africa. Either way I saw a lot of tears coming out of Brad's eyes. I'm also fairly certain Seal is going sing "Kiss From a Rose" live for one of the one-on-one dates. Ooo, okay, here is my official final prediction: The girl that Brad's in love with decides to run away with Seal. Then Heidi Klum will naturally become our next Bachelorette.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on the first episode of The Bachelor: Season 15. Shoot me your thoughts!
Flashback to last season when Jacy and I decided to do our rendition of Ali vs. Kasey. Click Here.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Please Tell Me What There Is To Complain About
Christmas 2010: Here I am, curled up on a chair in the dining room, sipping on some hot tea and typing on my BRAND NEW COMPUTER. I seriously have the best parents ever. I've been without a computer for almost two years because my 2005 model decided to all but burst into flames. This one is so fancy. You should see the design on the top. I may become one of those brooding, coffee-house-dwelling computer nerds. (If only I wasn't terrified of spilling coffee on this baby. Yeah, the hot tea I am sipping is actually sitting on an end table behind me. I am treating this thing like my first-born.)
What a terrific Christmas though. Actually, what a terrific year. I love looking back on the past year and reflecting on all of the wonderful things/people/places that have been brought into my life. I don't mean to brag, but I have the most beautiful family in the entire world. You should have seen my nephews today. That AJ - wow - melts my heard with a flash of his smile. And he's so smart. I know all aunts are supposed to say that about their nephews, but for real. I am expecting this kid to go all Mensa on our asses. And that Bo - he is growing so fast. He's a beautiful little boy with flawless skin. I swear he's going to start crawling around any minute.
The past year has been extremely amazing in the lives of JessandJacy. We both graduated college (I in May and Jacy in December). We welcomed little Bo into our lives, as well as wonderful new friends. We've maintained tremendous friendships with our existing friends.(We even saw a few of them get married!) And we have an amazingly supportive family to be thankful for every day. Our lives our wonderful.
And now, as 2011 approaches quickly, we are embarking on another new journey. Last week, I accepted a position at the University of Oklahoma in Norman. And guess what? My little sis will be joining me! Norman's a college town -- what better place to pursue her hair styling career? We've spent the last few days looking for apartments. Yes, this is really happening. And we couldn't be more excited.
Thank you all (or y'all since I'm an Okie now) for being there to support us this year. It's been a real rollercoaster, but worth the ride. I am so anxious/excited for this new year to start and for our lives to finally take off. I know this is freaking corny and not my style at all, but I am really truly blessed.
That being said, please continue to follow our lives in 2011. We love to share our experiences with everyone. Jacy and I will be together again (for the first time in six months), so some weird stuff is bound to happen. And I'll be there to document and blog every stupid thing she...errr....I mean WE do.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
-Jess (and Jacy)
What a terrific Christmas though. Actually, what a terrific year. I love looking back on the past year and reflecting on all of the wonderful things/people/places that have been brought into my life. I don't mean to brag, but I have the most beautiful family in the entire world. You should have seen my nephews today. That AJ - wow - melts my heard with a flash of his smile. And he's so smart. I know all aunts are supposed to say that about their nephews, but for real. I am expecting this kid to go all Mensa on our asses. And that Bo - he is growing so fast. He's a beautiful little boy with flawless skin. I swear he's going to start crawling around any minute.
The past year has been extremely amazing in the lives of JessandJacy. We both graduated college (I in May and Jacy in December). We welcomed little Bo into our lives, as well as wonderful new friends. We've maintained tremendous friendships with our existing friends.(We even saw a few of them get married!) And we have an amazingly supportive family to be thankful for every day. Our lives our wonderful.
And now, as 2011 approaches quickly, we are embarking on another new journey. Last week, I accepted a position at the University of Oklahoma in Norman. And guess what? My little sis will be joining me! Norman's a college town -- what better place to pursue her hair styling career? We've spent the last few days looking for apartments. Yes, this is really happening. And we couldn't be more excited.
Thank you all (or y'all since I'm an Okie now) for being there to support us this year. It's been a real rollercoaster, but worth the ride. I am so anxious/excited for this new year to start and for our lives to finally take off. I know this is freaking corny and not my style at all, but I am really truly blessed.
That being said, please continue to follow our lives in 2011. We love to share our experiences with everyone. Jacy and I will be together again (for the first time in six months), so some weird stuff is bound to happen. And I'll be there to document and blog every stupid thing she...errr....I mean WE do.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
-Jess (and Jacy)
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Update
Wow, I suck. I've made you all wait nearly three weeks for another blog. I'm sure you've been pressing F5 over and over again for days - wishing, waiting, hoping, PRAYING for a new blog. (In that day-dreaming head of mine, that's really what y'all are doing.) Well hold onto your britches, because here it is!
Okay, honestly, you can probably just skip this blog. It's more of a tell-all about what's been going on in my life. Nothing too crazy.
So much has happened since November 21, 2010...like...THANKSGIVING! Granted, I wasn't able to make the long trip back to Nebraska, but I didn't make my way to Norman, Oklahoma, for some good old-fashioned fun. I come from a small family, so our turkey days are pretty quaint. Get in-get out. Well, my friend, Kylie's family is a bit different. We had five turkeys. FIVE. One baked, one broiled, one fried, one roasted and one most likely baked underground for 48 hours inside a pig carcus. Seriously, this family goes ALL OUT.
No time for a food hangover though because immediately after dinner we went to see Burlesque (so bad it was good) and THEN we headed to Target at 10 p.m. to sit out under the stars all night. Yes, folks, we did Black Friday in ultimate fashion. Kylie is a die-hard. She didn't care that it was 27 degrees out and the snot from our noses was freezing as soon as it hit our upper lips. She packed thermoses (thermi?), sleeping bags, hats, gloves and even reclining folding chairs to keep us warm all night. Things were going great until the people behind us let some of their friends cut in line. Yeah, the people behind them didn't like that too much. They threw a hissy. Come to find out, though, some people got shot in Oklahoma City (only 30 min to the North of Norman) that same night because of a feud sparked from cutting in line. Scary shit. But luckily we were able to get in and out of Target at 4 a.m. with no gun shot wounds. Only a few shopping cart nicks.
And for the best part of the weekend: Kylie's bachelorette party. Here's the scoop - Ky had zero idea of what was going on for her party. She was told to look all dressed up and then we were all meeting up at 6. But we had one slight problem. At about 6 p.m., Kylie tried on her bride-to-be outfit and, GASP, she didn't think it fit! (She didn't try it on in the store before hand.) Oh the drama! Little-did-she-know, that we weren't partaking in any male stripper business. Nor were we even going out on the town. We, instead, were taking pole dancing lessons! So really, she could completely slum it and it wouldn't matter. But I couldn't TELL her that because that'd ruin the surprise.
So after coaxing her into a different outfit, we were on our merry way to Morgan's house. Two steps into Morgan's house and Kylie realized what was going on.... She had just spent TWO FREAKING HOURS doing her hair/make-up and none of that mattered because we were just going to drink/dance all night anyway. Man she was one pissed off cookie. But after getting over the initial shock, she cheered up and we hopped on a party bus to take us to pole dancing lessons.
Here's the deal about the pole dancing... You've seen me before, right? If so, you know I am probably the most unsexiest person in the world. However, after about a bottle-and-a-half of champagne by myself, I was convinced I was Jenna-freaking-Jameson. I'd catch myself looking in the mirror making sex eyes at myself. Yeah, it was really disgusting. Then I'd try wrapping my leg around the pole and sliding down it, but my hands aways got stuck because I guess I have really sweaty hands? I needed some damn chalk or something. Could you imagine a stripper who stopped every two minutes to chalk up her hands? That was me. My favorite part was at the end when we got to strap these little Middle-Eastern skirts around our waists and shake it like Shakira. The champagne made me believe I was Shakira. Until everyone pointed out that I had the skirt on backwards. I'm an embarrassment to the sexy-women community.
Okay, so that was only one weekend of my past few weeks. Last weekend was the Big 12 Football Championships. And all sorts of stuff in between. But for now, I must go. I have Christmas parties to attend. Stay tuned for next time when I discuss conspiracy theories (seriously, I went to the JFK museum last weekend. I have things to share.)
Okay, honestly, you can probably just skip this blog. It's more of a tell-all about what's been going on in my life. Nothing too crazy.
So much has happened since November 21, 2010...like...THANKSGIVING! Granted, I wasn't able to make the long trip back to Nebraska, but I didn't make my way to Norman, Oklahoma, for some good old-fashioned fun. I come from a small family, so our turkey days are pretty quaint. Get in-get out. Well, my friend, Kylie's family is a bit different. We had five turkeys. FIVE. One baked, one broiled, one fried, one roasted and one most likely baked underground for 48 hours inside a pig carcus. Seriously, this family goes ALL OUT.
No time for a food hangover though because immediately after dinner we went to see Burlesque (so bad it was good) and THEN we headed to Target at 10 p.m. to sit out under the stars all night. Yes, folks, we did Black Friday in ultimate fashion. Kylie is a die-hard. She didn't care that it was 27 degrees out and the snot from our noses was freezing as soon as it hit our upper lips. She packed thermoses (thermi?), sleeping bags, hats, gloves and even reclining folding chairs to keep us warm all night. Things were going great until the people behind us let some of their friends cut in line. Yeah, the people behind them didn't like that too much. They threw a hissy. Come to find out, though, some people got shot in Oklahoma City (only 30 min to the North of Norman) that same night because of a feud sparked from cutting in line. Scary shit. But luckily we were able to get in and out of Target at 4 a.m. with no gun shot wounds. Only a few shopping cart nicks.
And for the best part of the weekend: Kylie's bachelorette party. Here's the scoop - Ky had zero idea of what was going on for her party. She was told to look all dressed up and then we were all meeting up at 6. But we had one slight problem. At about 6 p.m., Kylie tried on her bride-to-be outfit and, GASP, she didn't think it fit! (She didn't try it on in the store before hand.) Oh the drama! Little-did-she-know, that we weren't partaking in any male stripper business. Nor were we even going out on the town. We, instead, were taking pole dancing lessons! So really, she could completely slum it and it wouldn't matter. But I couldn't TELL her that because that'd ruin the surprise.
So after coaxing her into a different outfit, we were on our merry way to Morgan's house. Two steps into Morgan's house and Kylie realized what was going on.... She had just spent TWO FREAKING HOURS doing her hair/make-up and none of that mattered because we were just going to drink/dance all night anyway. Man she was one pissed off cookie. But after getting over the initial shock, she cheered up and we hopped on a party bus to take us to pole dancing lessons.
Here's the deal about the pole dancing... You've seen me before, right? If so, you know I am probably the most unsexiest person in the world. However, after about a bottle-and-a-half of champagne by myself, I was convinced I was Jenna-freaking-Jameson. I'd catch myself looking in the mirror making sex eyes at myself. Yeah, it was really disgusting. Then I'd try wrapping my leg around the pole and sliding down it, but my hands aways got stuck because I guess I have really sweaty hands? I needed some damn chalk or something. Could you imagine a stripper who stopped every two minutes to chalk up her hands? That was me. My favorite part was at the end when we got to strap these little Middle-Eastern skirts around our waists and shake it like Shakira. The champagne made me believe I was Shakira. Until everyone pointed out that I had the skirt on backwards. I'm an embarrassment to the sexy-women community.
Okay, so that was only one weekend of my past few weeks. Last weekend was the Big 12 Football Championships. And all sorts of stuff in between. But for now, I must go. I have Christmas parties to attend. Stay tuned for next time when I discuss conspiracy theories (seriously, I went to the JFK museum last weekend. I have things to share.)
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